Podcast Transcription: Nutrition 101: Part 3: Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Emotional Eating

Ted Ryce: What's up my friend, and welcome back to another episode of the Legendary Life podcast. I'm your host, health expert, Ted Ryce, and today we're going to be getting into our, what really matters for nutrition part three. And today we're going to be talking about emotional eating. So if you ever felt like you're an emotional eater, if you feel like when the stress comes on, you turn to food as your medication, as a way to soothe your emotions, we're going to be getting into that today. You're going to want to listen to this episode.

And if this is your first time listening, this show, Legendary Life is all about clearing up health and fitness confusion by breaking down science-based information on how to lose fat, prevent disease and live a Legendary life.

So if that's what you're interested in, then you're in the right place. Go to legendary life podcast.com/review. Subscribe to the podcast and leave us a review, it’s highest compliment you can pay. So let's get into it.

It took me years before I realized that I'm an emotional eater. Now I got fat in my mid-thirties, but for the most of my life, I was lean. So it never dawned on me that how I was eating, this bingeing type of behaviour, this emotional eating behaviour was unhealthy regardless of what my body fat percentage is.

And this really dawned on me when I was with my dad after I came back from Bangkok, Thailand, after I came back from really Southeast Asia, and I had this habit of binge eating at his house and I never put two and two together, it's so funny how this happens, but I would go over there years past, and I would eat uncontrollably and I would kind of see myself doing it and then I would feel bad and I would blame my dad for having too much junk around.

And my wife Giselle was like, why you always blame your dad for your behaviour? And I kind of said well, it's such a negative environment there. I mean, he's a good guy, I love him, but he's just, he keeps it really dark in there, in his house.

So one, it’s actually a two bedroom apartment, but it's really dark. He doesn't ever open it, and he's got all these junk food everywhere, like Tootsie roll pops, he just loves candy. He's like a big kid, and you know what? I'm a big kid too, and I love that stuff too, and I found myself eating the candy, eating the trail mix, eating the ice cream.

And this last time that I was there, after I came back from Asia, I had a moment of clarity where I'm like, you know what? I'm a binge eater, here I am binge eating, and I noticed what triggered it. When my dad is in a great mood and everything's going well, I don't really have a problem, but he was in bad shape and I'm not going to go too much into it because I did a whole real talk Friday series really, diving into it.

So if you don't listen to the real talk Friday episodes, you should check them out. Maybe you listen to one and you said, that's not really for me. We'll go back and try again, I've gotten better.

So, here I am this time around, and for some reason, this time I have some awareness and it all dawned on me, I've been a binge eater ever since I was a kid, and I remember I go Trick or Treating, which for most you non Halloween celebrating people, from other countries, that's when you go around begging for candy at strangers houses, dressed up in, I don't know, a power Rangers outfit or witch's costume or something.

So I would always binge eat my candy, and then, I'll be honest with you. I used to steal my sister's and brother's candy and eat it, like it wasn't enough, and I was never a fat kid. But boy was I eating unhealthily, ooh.

You can be lean and eat a lot of junk food and not be healthy, let me tell you. It's not good for your gut, it's not good for your energy levels. Not good for inflammation levels, and it all dawned on me like I've said, this last time I was out at my dad's house, and I want to ask you, does that resonate with you?

So today we're going to get into what binge eating really is or what emotional eating really is and what it isn’t, and then the first thing I want to talk about is what it isn't. So many people get confused by this, they think they're binge eaters, they're really not.

For example: If you have a perspective, a mindset where you think there's good foods and bad foods, and you're like, I got to be good. Oh, that bad food, that dirty, dirty, bad food. Those dirty, dirty, terrible unclean Oreo cookies and ice cream, just dirty bad food.

Oh, look at all this good food, this clean good food, this spinach and this chicken breast. If you've got that type of mentality, and you try to eat super strict and then you eventually fail. Quote, unquote, fail, and then you're like oh, it's almost like a religious sort of bullshit thing.

You're like oh, I'm following the Lord's path with eating, and then all of a sudden you're bingeing, you're like, the devil have possessed me, that's not binge-eating, you've got an issue with your relationship with food, which is different. You don't realize that there's nothing wrong with having a little bit of sugar, nothing wrong with having a little bit of Oreos, nothing wrong with that gooey, delicious, chocolatey brownie with the crust. It was gooey in the middle and then kind of crusty, sugary crusty on the outside that I had the other day, it was delicious. I enjoyed it, and guess what?

My blood test is normal, I've got visible abs, I'm the leanest I've ever been. That my friends is balanced. So if you're at this good food, trying to restrict yourself, restrict yourself, restrict yourself, and then you binge because you just can't take it anymore, that's not binge eating. That's just a flawed approach to nutrition. Another example of not emotional eating, that's not emotional eating folks, that's dumb, dumb eating, it's not emotional eating.

Another example of non-emotional eating that many people mistake for emotional eating is: if you go too long without food, and then you quote unquote binge eat, that's not emotional eating either. You've basically starved yourself, and then what the hell do you think was going to happen?

Now, some people do well with skipping meals, other people don't. Personally, I hate skipping meals as a general rule. Now I'll tell you ,today I skipped a meal, but that's because I ate that chocolate brownie yesterday, in addition to a bunch of other things. So I'm just, I didn't even feel hungry in the morning because I ate so much yesterday.

So that's what I do to balance things out, but I don't force myself to go without food. I don't believe in that. I don't believe in forcing in general, it's bad idea. Something's not working, it's your approach that sucks.

So if you're going without food, trying to do the intermittent fasting thing and then find yourself bingeing, that's not emotional eating either, that's just a dumb, dumb approach.

The third thing that people mistake for emotional eating that it really isn't is: if you're trying to eat, let's say you only eat like a quarter of a bag of potato chips, but then you find yourself going back for more, going back for more, going back for more, then you finish the entire bag, and then, you're still hungry after that, and then you eat a meal and then finally, somewhere later, an hour later, you're finally feeling okay, I'm not hungry anymore. That's not emotional eating either. Why, why isn't that emotional eating? Well, it's obvious if you understand the brain science here.

So, certain foods cause you to feel satiated, other foods don't feel cause you to feel satiated: And when I say satiated, what I'm talking about is hunger.

Satiety is just the fancy, kind of science-y term for hunger. Although satiety is arguably a bit more complex, but you're still hungry because the potato chips, we know potato chips don't work well for hunger, or pretzels or white bread or croissants or cookies.

So if you're eating that stuff and you're still hungry later and you find yourself just eating, eating, eating, that's not emotional eating either, that's just shitty food choices. I mean, let me be clear about that. Look, you can eat all that stuff. I had the gooey brownie the other day, what I'm saying is, you got to eat the real food, the food that we know satiates you, not the food that triggers you.

So we know that processed foods work differently in your brain, and they don't help satiate you, they don't help the hunger go away. Haven't you ever noticed that? So many things, in fact, Lay's potato chips had a slogan. Do you remember? Bet you can't just eat one. That's right, because it's carbs that's fried in fat and salty and you just can’t eat one, you just cant even eat a small bag, it’s like, you just want to keep on eating, if that’s all you have.

So that's just poor food choices, and if you're you want to learn what good food choices are to manage hunger, then you need to listen to the first of this series ,where I talk about satiety, because it's really important.

In fact, one of my strategies for my emotional eating is that my dad had a bunch of protein powder. I just kept slamming protein shakes, I stuffed myself full of protein shakes, because I was emotional eating. I was like, you know what? Well, I'm going to make sure that I get a ton of protein in, I'm going to try to quell my emotional hunger with protein shakes.

So if those aren't emotional eating, that's not emotional eating, then what is? And I would say it's this, now I'm not an expert on this, and if there are any experts listening, I'm happy to have you on the show. Happy to have you, I'm just talking from my personal experience here, but emotional eating is when you are not hungry and you're eating anyway, because you're trying to fix a problem. You're trying to solve a problem, or you're trying to shift the way you feel.

Now, in the other instances, if you're trying to be really strict with your food choices, that's different, and now it may be kind of emotional that that happens. It may be emotional the way you look at it, but what we're really talking about here is, what I did over the past week.

So I wasn't hungry, but I was sitting there and I was trying to talk with my dad. I was trying, to, I really wanted to unleash on him, I really wanted to get on his case and I did a little bit, to be honest, and some of it went down well, and the other part, we got us into arguments, and I was like, instead of just unleashing all the things that I wanted just say, it was like an itch that, it’s like God, I've got to scratch that itch.

So instead of scratching the itch with just telling him how I felt, which I knew was just going to cause more disconnection, more stress on him, it wasn't going to be helpful. So what did I do? I kind of sacrificed myself, and every time that would happen, I found myself in the kitchen, shoving food in my face, just a little bit of this, a little bit of that. Now it wasn't all unhealthy food, I was eating nuts, I was having protein shakes, I have plenty of ice cream man, plenty of ice cream bars.

What else do I have there? I didn't gain fat, or maybe just a little bit, it’s really even hard to tell because I had this vein on my ab that was just like, please don't go away. Please don't go away, but it was like, I was looking at it to see like, oh man that vein's going to disappear, with the way I'm eating right now, it's only a matter of time, but it didn't, I was able to manage it.

But even though I didn't gain fat, or gained a little bit, right? Because I didn't do a body fat test or anything, I felt bad and I knew I was eating emotionally.

And so, what do we have to do here, if we find ourselves in a situation where you're dealing with a parent. In fact, I got a client, Rich, if you're listening, shout out to you. He's dealing with his parents and he's got the same problem I have. Emotional eating over at their house because it's kind of a stressful situation.

I've had women clients who emotional eat because of a problem with their husband. They're not having sex in a long time, and instead of having the conversation, that's super stressful, you just shove food in your face.

Or like one of my other clients, Sarah, she said, Listen, I'm not, she’s like, I'm not going to do math off of a toilet seat, I'm a Christian mom, it's not going to happen, but all eat. I love Sarah, Sarah, if you're listening, love you. I love that example because it's so true.

So what is the key then to handling emotional eating? And the key is a few things, the keys to handle emotionally emotional eating.

Number one is: you've got to get some insight into what's really triggering you. Why are you really doing this? If you find yourself like hmm, I'm going to go for the, a little bit of, in the candy jar at work, or in the pantry in the office, or in the pantry at home. Why are you doing it? What's the intention? Are you really hungry? Yes or no

Because if you're not, and you've eaten the right things, you've mostly done the right choices. So you're not like trying to eat a meal of potato chips and then wondering why it's not working to get rid of your hunger, you're not doing that, and you're not really like trying to good food, bad food yourself, and you're not skipping meals

But you find yourself stressed out, frustrated, sad, angry, whatever negative emotion you want to use, or maybe this is a little positive one. Now I don't personally eat when I'm feeling good, but I remember when I used to smoke weed, I'd smoke weed when things went bad, I'd smoke weed, but the underlying thing was that the common denominator was, it was me getting stoned, no matter what the situation.

Oh, God life sucks, oh, get stoned. Oh yeah. I feel better. Hey, got to celebrate, this is awesome, got a new client. Let's get stoned, right? So I understand the addiction, the psychological addiction, at least.

So maybe things are happy and you're turning to food, instead of something more positive, maybe you're rewarding yourself with food.

And so, those are the things that we need to look into. And by the way, a great resource for this, because someone was asking me, what's a great resource for binge eating, where it's not a hardcore situation where you really need to, maybe talk to a therapist who specializes in this stuff, and I would say, Brene Brown, Daring greatly is one of the first buys a book I recommend to my clients. It's a book I recommend to everyone. It's awesome. And I recommend since you liked podcasts, listen to it because she's powerful.

Another one: Pema Chodron, I don't know if I'm saying her name right, but she is another one. She's like old school Brene Brown, like she was Brene Brown before Brene Brown was around.

She's a Tibetan Buddhist monk, but from New York, I think she's a Jewish woman from New York and she's awesome. Pema Chodron. P-E-M- A-C- H- O-D-R-O-N and get some of her stuff. Oh gosh, listen to it, it's awesome.

Next level from Brene Brown in my opinion, although I love Brene Brown, love her, love her books, but those are some things that can help you deal with those underlying issues, and what I want to say is, so many of us, we never deal with the underlying issues. We're afraid to go there, we're afraid to have that conversation.

So back to how we know this, you've got to get awareness of what's triggering you, and why. That's the number one thing you've got to get, what is triggering you? What is the underlying issue here? Do you feel shame about something? Do you feel anxiety about something? Do you feel a lack of connection?

Brene Brown, in her research talks about those are the three things that lead to numbing behaviour and emotional eating is numbing behaviour. Just like having a bunch of alcohol is, and it's not a wedding, it's just another night and you're just trying to shift, you're trying to medicate, and it doesn't matter how many drinks you have, or how much food you eat, or how much weed you smoke, it never fixes the underlying problem.

As soon as you sober up from the food coma, or the weed high or the alcohol intoxication, you still have the issues left.

Now, let's talk about some other things here. Beyond getting awareness about why you're going there, why you're doing that, there's some other things that can help. Do you find yourself blaming people? Oh, well it's the US government, USDA food pyramid guidelines, or it's my kid's fault or my husband's fault or my wife's fault.

I used to blame my wife, by the way, and in some ways it was true, Gisele would make all this food, she'd eat very little and I’d eat all of the rest that was leftover, and I just ate it and I would blame her, and I got mad at her, but she was trying to show me love by doing that

And so, I eventually realized that and I had to sit down and have a talk with her about it and say, listen, I know you're doing this because you love me. I know you're feeding me because you're trying to be the wife in the house, because Gisele is not very domesticated.

She is a businesswoman and she is a bad-ass, and she was doing her best to prepare food. She would make these salads and I was blaming her. Now here’s the tricky thing about blame, there was a good reason for me to blame her, but here's the thing, and there's probably a good reason for you to blame who you're blaming.

But here's the thing, it's not really that good of a reason, because if you want to fix it, you've got to have communication. You've got to clearly communicate with that person who probably loves you, and stop blaming them and start taking control.

Another thing is catastrophizing: It's like tasty foods are everywhere, I'll never get my weight loss under control. I'll never get it handled, there's junk food everywhere. The people who design the Costco’s and the grocery markets, they know they put those chocolate bars right at the checkout, I've been so good the entire time and they're right at the checkout, and then I fail.

And the truth is, if you handle the underlying issues, it's something that you can handle, so stop catastrophizing it. Now that's something I've never personally done, but I know a lot of people do.

And then there's overgeneralizing: So what is that?

Well, since I'm, since an emotional eater, I'm always going to be an emotional eater, that's not true, we all change. In fact, didn't, you have to change when you got the new iPhone or the new Samsung or whatever you're using? Android, whatever, of course you did.

We all change, we all can change, that idea that you can't teach an old dog new tricks, that's bullshit. Go check out the MythBusters episode, on that particular subject, on that specific subject, it's not true. We all learn all the time, we can learn until we're dead. So, and if everything's a habit, if everything's learnable, then you can certainly learn how to be different than what you're doing now.

Another thing is the failure mindset: Oh, I went over my calorie limit, or I ate too much food, I’ve failed and I should give up, it's like listen, now I haven't done this one either, although I have overgeneralized and said to myself, once I'm this way, I'm always this way, but it wasn't with food, but this one I haven't. Now that I think about it, I’ve probably done it in other areas, but I haven't done it with food just to be straight with you.

And what it is, is thinking that you failed somehow. And what I teach in my coaching group is that, you’re going to fall off the wagon. I fell off with my dad, I fell off when I got sick in Thailand with dengue fever, we fall off, we all fall off. The secret to the people who get this handled and handle it for good is that they fall off, but they get back on.

And if you're falling off, what you need to do is focus on getting back on, getting back on track, get back on track faster this time. Get back on track faster, don't go off track as much, get better at it that's the skill, the obstacle right there is the way.

You get better at bouncing back, but if you ever, ever, ever think that there's this time in your life where you're just going to have this handled and you’ll never fall off, you'll never have a bad day. You've already, that's the failure, because you're setting an unrealistic expectation for yourself, because it isn’t going to happen, you're going to go off track.

So instead of getting off track in catastrophe or, having that failure mindset, where, I'm a failure I've failed, nothing to do with that. Number one, you have the wisdom to realize you're off track, so pat yourself on the back for that, did, all right, how do I get back on track? That's how you get to the next level, if you're stuck there.

And then the last thing: I've already talked about this at the beginning, but I want to reiterate it again because it's so common, is that good food, bad food mindset. Oh, this food's good, this food's bad. So good, this food. Oh, look at that, It's bad, dirty food. I want to eat that good clean food.

Stop with that nonsense, please. There are people starving in the world right now, actually, there's more kids starving in South Asia, which is like India, Bangladesh, that area, than there is in Africa, and then there's starving kids in Africa, there are starving kids in Southeast Asia and in Cambodia that I saw, and for them, some processed food, that's easy to get the calories out of, that isn’t unhealthy, it's unhealthy to starve to death. Do you see how the context changes depending, I mean, whether something's good or bad, changes the context.

Now that's an extreme situation, I'll use another example. Was it unhealthy for me to have that brownie the other day? Some people would say yes, and then I'd say, okay, let's see your abs, and then they wouldn't show me any because they got a layer covering it up, and show me your blood test. I can show you mine, mine is perfect right now.

So this is a tough one, because let me tell you this, the person who is super strict with their diet, but then eventually binge eats, because they're being so strict, but is high body fat, is less healthy than the person who is lean, and within a healthy body fat range, doesn't even have to be ripped or anything like that, but just within that healthy body fat range, which is in between 10 and 20 for men, or I should say just under 20 for men, and 20 to 30 for women, or under 30.

I say that because there's nothing wrong with getting down to 15% body fat if you're a woman, nothing wrong with getting down to 8% body fat for some guys. That person who's lean, who occasionally eats the brownie like I did, is in much better health than the person who is strict all the time but has a lot of body fat.

And this is such a hard one to get through people's minds, because they good food, bad food, everything. In fact, that's one of the complaints that I get the most is like hey, I don't eat junk food, but yet I still can't lose weight, I can't lose the body fat. I eat so clean.

Well guess what? It doesn't have that much to do with clean eating, clean eating, good choices are part of it, but it isn’t the big principle. If you want to learn what the principles are, go back and listen to what really matters for nutrition part one, part, one of this series. Listen to it again, if you already forgot.

So get rid of those mindsets. So that's the three things I'm asking you to do:

Number one, develop awareness about what's triggering you.

Two, take action to solve that problem: For some of you it's having that talk with your significant other, for others, it’s having that talk with your boss, or maybe finding another job or going over your boss’s head and reporting them for terrible behaviour, or firing those employees who are on Facebook all day, instead of doing their work.

And you're afraid to fire them because you know how hard it is to, and then you have to replace them, and you're wondering what's the lesser of two evils? The devil you know, or the devil you don't. So that's how we deal with the emotional eating, that's how I like to do with it, that's how I coach my clients through it

And then, getting rid of those false mindsets, the blaming mindset, the overgeneralization mindset, the good food, bad food mindset, the failure mindset, the only failure is giving up. There is no good food, bad food, it really depends on the situation. So that my friends is how we tackle emotional eating, that's what I do in my coaching group, and it works, it works.

When we step up and do the work, it works. If we're unwilling to do the work, then we're stuck, simple as that. So you just have to ask yourself, are you tired of suffering? How sick of it are you, how sick and tired of it are you?

And once you get to that place where you can't take it anymore, now you know what to do, go and handle it, have that conversation, start looking for another job, in that relationship. that's toxic to you, go out and meet some friends that are into healthier activities, not just drinking and eating.

Maybe you're single, get out there and start meeting people. Maybe you're a workaholic, go out there and start having hobbies outside of work. Maybe you're having soulless job or maybe you're over your business. I had a conversation with someone who was over their business, they're like, I'm not in it anymore, I got to get out. My soul is not in it, sucking my soul away.

Hey, I know how that is, I lived that for years, for probably a good decade in Miami beach, just repeating the same unhappy life, training millionaires and celebrities. I know it doesn't sound like the worst thing in the world, but it was for me, I was suffering. It's not about what objectively seems like a good situation. Although sometimes it's about that, it's good to keep things in perspective, but ultimately we need to deal with what our truth is, and that's what I help people with in my coaching program.

And let me ask you this, if you are committed to getting this handled and you want 2020 to be that year, I can help you get over this stuff, provided you're not anorexic or bulimic or in a really seriously bad situation with obesity, where you really need a doctor.

But if you haven't been told you need serious help, medical help, then I want to work with you. I can help you lose fat every week. Imagine that, you're right now, you're getting, you're working hard in the gym, you're trying to eat clean. You're restricting those foods that you love, and you're not seeing the results you want. How frustrating is that?

What if I could help you lose fat every week, help you fit in the foods that you love, so that you could stick to the plan for life, help you get on a workout program that is perfect for your schedule and perfect for you with the right exercises, working out where you want, home or gym. Imagine that and imagine getting results every single week.

And I had another person, I had a person tell me recently, well listen Ted, I don't really need the motivation of the coaching. It's like, well, that's good, because that’s not only what I do, what that's like is, I love this analogy, so I have a Brown belt in Brazilian jujitsu, took me a long time to get it, and people think, like would you think that I show up to class to get my Brown belt for the motivation?

No, I was learning new techniques. I was refining old techniques. I was getting better, because I had an expert teaching me, and when I first started jujitsu, I paid for private lessons, It got me good, fast.

And when I hired Eric, my nutrition coach, I didn't do it because I needed the motivation. To be honest, I needed the accountability, but I didn't need the motivation, and I wanted to share partnership on the journey, and that's when it really came together. That's when I went from 15% body fat where I had been for a while, even though I knew what to do, but he coached me up and now I am leaner than I've ever been.

You can get the great results that all the people are getting in my one-on-one in group coaching programs, and you've heard me talk about this and you're still trying things and you're still not getting results. You didn't lose any fat last week, you don't see any difference or when you do, you lose a couple pounds or five pounds, and then you put it back on and you've got no idea how to keep it going in the right direction, I want to talk to you.

You're ready for coaching, I want to talk with you. You've been looking for someone to help you and you're not sure, you're like, yeah, I really like Ted, but how is that virtual format going to work? I really want someone in person. Well, guess what? I get great results with the virtual format; I want to talk to you.

So go to Legendary Life program.com/apply. Legendary Life program.com/apply and apply for my coaching group. We'll hop on a call, there's nothing to buy on the call. I mean, you don't have to join the program, I will help you get clear on things, and if I think you're right for the program, I’ll invite you in, and if you think it's right for you, then you join.

But if we don't think it's a good fit, because I'll tell you what, here's a little other secret before I let you go. The most important thing is not how perfect the program is, it's your relationship with the coach. So if you and I can't get along on the coaching call, that isn’t going to work for either one of us, you're going to be thinking, this guy just really don't like him, and I'm going to be thinking the same about you to be honest.

So I avoid those situations, but I got to tell you what, shout out to Jay, shout out to Jeff, shout out to Karen, shout out to Gigi, shout out to Bassie. Shout out to Kevin, shout out to John. I know I'm missing some people, but, Jackie, I'm drawing a blank, Sarah. Shout out to all of you who took the plunge, because you're all awesome, and you're all getting great results, and I'm so honoured to help you with that.

So again, if that's what you're interested in, you want great results, like the people I just mentioned. Go to Legendary Life program.com/apply. Legendary Life program.com/apply. Have an amazing week and I'll speak to you on Monday.